Men’s mental health: signs of depression in men and how to get support

Signs of depression in men

Men and women can get most of the same mental health conditions, but they may notice different symptoms^[1]. These are signs that NIMH in the US and the NHS in the UK list^[1][2][3]:

• Low mood, sadness, or feeling empty or hopeless^[2][3]
• Losing interest or pleasure in things you used to enjoy^[2]
• Anger, irritability or aggressiveness, or being short with people^[1][3]
• Feeling flat, or finding it hard to feel anything positive^[1]
• Tiredness, low energy, or feeling slowed down^[2]
• Sleeping badly or sleeping too much, and changes in appetite^[1]
• Trouble concentrating, or feeling restless or on edge^[1]
• Drinking more or using drugs more^[1][2]
• Taking more risks, or acting more on impulse^[2]
• Pulling away from family and friends^[2][3]
• Aches, headaches or stomach problems with no clear cause^[1][2]
• Problems with sex drive or sexual performance^[2][3]
• Not keeping up with responsibilities at work or at home^[2]
• Thoughts of death or suicide^[1]

This is not a checklist for diagnosing yourself. You do not need every sign: “Not everyone who is depressed shows all these symptoms”^[2]. What matters is how long it lasts and how much it gets in your way. Depression is diagnosed when symptoms are there most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks^[2]. A doctor or therapist can help you work out what is going on, and the free depression self-test can help you decide whether to talk to someone.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, you do not have to wait until it gets worse. Free, confidential help is available now.

Why depression in men gets missed

Many people picture depression as sadness. Men can have that too. But some of the signs that are easier to miss do not fit that picture^[1][2].

Based on NIMH and the NHS. Anyone, of any sex, can have signs from either column^[1][2][3].

The body often comes first. NIMH notes that many men are more likely to see a health care provider about physical symptoms, such as headaches or digestive problems, than about how they feel^[2]. In a large US survey of 2,382 men, the classic signs of depression made men more likely to seek help for it. The “male-typical” signs did not, although men with them were more likely to seek help from a medical provider. The authors say doctors should check for depression even when it is not the reason for the visit^[8].

It can also creep up. The NHS says depression often comes on gradually, so many people try to cope without realising they are unwell. “It can sometimes take a friend or family member to suggest something is wrong”^[3].

How common is depression in men?

Worldwide, the WHO estimates that in 2023 about 4.1% of adult men and 6.2% of adult women had depression. Depression is about 1.5 times more common in women^[4]. Women are diagnosed more often, but men can be depressed too^[2].

In the US, one large national survey suggests the gap may partly depend on which symptoms are counted. When the researchers added symptoms such as anger, substance use and risk-taking to the usual list, the difference between men and women disappeared. That was one study with a scale the authors built themselves, and they wrote: “Further study is needed to clarify which symptoms truly describe men’s experiences of depression”^[6].

NIMH sums up where things stand: “Researchers are only now beginning to tease apart the various biological and psychosocial factors that may impact mental health”^[1].

Anger, drinking and risk-taking

Depression is not always sadness. NIMH notes that men, as well as women, may seem angry or irritable instead^[2]. If anger is causing problems for you or the people around you, see our page on anger management.

A review of 32 studies, with over 100,000 people, compared men and women with depression. On average, men reported more alcohol or drug misuse and more risk-taking or poor impulse control. Women reported more low mood, appetite or weight change and sleep problems. But the differences were small, and anger was not among the clear differences reported in the review’s summary. The authors suggest asking about drinking, drug use and risk-taking when assessing men for depression^[5].

Drinking deserves a closer look. Drinking or using drugs more can be a sign of depression in anyone, and men are more likely to use them as a way of coping^[2]. For most age groups, men have higher rates of drug and alcohol use or dependence than women, although women are just as likely to develop a substance use disorder^[13]. In the US in 2024, around 13% of adult men had an alcohol use disorder in the past year, compared with around 8% of women^[14]. NIMH advises avoiding alcohol, nicotine and drugs when you are depressed^[2].

Is “male depression” a separate condition?

Not as a diagnosis, and the idea is debated. Some researchers have built scales to measure a “male” pattern of depression, with anger, drinking, drug use, risk-taking, physical symptoms and holding emotions in. But that pattern is “theorised”, and findings from these scales have been mixed^[7]. Researchers still debate whether it is a separate pattern or mostly the same illness showing up through different behaviour, and the large US study above called for more research^[6]. Either way, the practical point is the same: if only sadness is looked for, some men will be missed^[5][8].

Depression in new and expecting fathers

Depression around a birth is not only a risk for mothers. “Fathers and partners can also have depression after having a baby”^[17]. Two large reviews found it in around 8 to 10% of fathers between pregnancy and the baby’s first year^[15][16]. It is more likely when the mother is depressed too^[15][16]. One review found higher rates 3 to 6 months after the birth, but a larger, later review did not find that timing made a difference^[15][16].

It is treated in a similar way to other depression, with talking therapy and antidepressants^[3]. If one parent is struggling, it is worth checking in on the other.

What can trigger depression in men?

People who go through hard life events, such as unemployment, bereavement or trauma, are more likely to develop depression^[4]. A new baby can be one trigger, as above. Depression can also show up at work: struggling to meet responsibilities, or thoughts and behaviour that get in the way of work, family or social life^[1][2]. If work pressure is part of it, see our page on work stress and burnout. If low mood follows a specific event, our guide to situational depression may help.

Why men are less likely to ask for help

Men are less likely than women to have had mental health treatment in the past year^[1]. In a US national survey in 2019, around 1 in 8 men had any mental health treatment in the past year, compared with around 1 in 4 women: roughly half as many^[10]. Treatment gaps are not only a men’s issue: in high-income countries, only about a third of people with depression get treatment^[4].

Research points to traditional ideas about being a man, such as being self-reliant and not showing emotion. A review of 37 studies found that conforming closely to traditional masculine norms affected men in three ways: how their symptoms showed, whether they sought help, and how they managed their symptoms^[9]. That is a matter of degree. It varies between men, and with the situation they are in^[11]. If always handling things alone sounds familiar, our guide to hyper-independence may help.

For younger men, a review of 12 studies found that masculine norms and self-stigma, and not having much information about mental health, held them back. Young men also wanted choices: informal or formal help, online or in person^[12].

What helps: treatment and first steps

Depression is treatable. Treatment usually means talking therapy, medication, or both, and therapy is often tried first for milder depression^[2]. Therapies with good evidence include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), interpersonal therapy and behavioural activation^[2][4]. For moderate or severe depression, therapy can be combined with antidepressants, which are not needed for mild depression^[4]. A doctor can talk you through whether medication makes sense for you. And there is a reason not to wait: “The earlier that treatment begins, the more effective it can be”^[1].

In the US, a primary care provider is a good place to start, and can refer you to a psychologist, psychiatrist or clinical social worker^[1]. In England, you can refer yourself to NHS talking therapies for depression without seeing a GP, if you are registered with one and aged 18 or over (16 in some areas)^[29].

Everyday support counts too. Community groups where men do practical things side by side, such as Men’s Sheds, have been linked with better wellbeing and less isolation in older men. The evidence is mostly qualitative, though, so they are not a replacement for treatment^[31]. If isolation is part of it, see our page on loneliness.

Finding therapy that works for you

Getting to a first session is one step. Staying is another. In an online survey of 1,907 Australian men, almost half of those who had tried therapy dropped out. The most common reason was not feeling a connection with the therapist, followed by a sense that therapy was not getting anywhere. The men chose to take part, and all lived in one country, so treat this as a signal rather than a firm figure^[25]. The authors advise therapists to talk openly with every client about whether the fit is right^[25].

Researchers describe the styles men tend to find most engaging as “collaborative, transparent, action-oriented, goal-focused”, with language adapted to the person. That comes mostly from reviews and expert opinion, not trials, and the authors say formal evaluations are still needed^[24]. So there is no tested “therapy for men” to look for. Programmes that got more men to use services often explained mental health clearly, helped men spot and manage symptoms, used active problem-solving, and built on positive traits such as responsibility and strength. That evidence is small and varied^[26].

In practice, that means:

• Choose someone you can talk to. Fit is the most common reason men give for leaving^[25].
• Ask how they work: what sessions look like, and what goals you will work towards. Open, goal-focused styles are the ones men tend to find most engaging^[24].
• Say if it is not working. Therapists are advised to talk about fit openly^[25].

Does therapy by video work?

For adults in general, the evidence says yes. A review of 47 studies found that therapy by video worked about as well as therapy in person, with the strongest results for CBT for mood problems^[27]. NIMH also says therapy can work in person or by telehealth^[2]. In one survey of 387 Australian men, those who had used remote therapy were on average more satisfied than those who had seen someone face to face. They liked being at home and the convenience. Some disliked connection problems and found it less personal^[28]. It was an online sample of men who chose to take part, so it does not show that video is better for men. It is a real option, not a lesser one.

Therapy for depression on Bliss Therapy

On Bliss Therapy you choose a therapist yourself, who speaks your language, and see them by video from home, with no waitlist. 46 psychologists and counsellors list depression, with sessions from €30 (about £25); 36 of them list CBT.

Language can matter. NICE guidance in England says information about depression should suit people’s language and cultural needs^[32]. In general healthcare, a review found that in 25 of 33 studies, at least one outcome was better when patient and doctor shared a language other than English^[33]. Those studies were not about therapy, so the link is indirect.

Our therapists are based outside the UK and the US, so they are unlikely to be on UK registers or covered by US health insurance. Ask any therapist about their training and their registration in the country where they practise.

How to tell if a man you care about is depressed

Look for changes from his usual self: more irritable, drinking more, pulling away, losing interest, sleeping badly or seeming flat^[1][2]. Sometimes it takes someone close to notice^[3].

• Ask open questions, such as “How do you feel about…?”^[23]
• Listen. “Do not worry about having the answers. Just listening to what someone has to say and taking it seriously can be more helpful”^[23].
• Be patient and encouraging, and invite him out for walks or other activities^[2].
• Help with the practical side: finding a doctor or therapist, and getting to appointments^[2].
• Remind him that with time and treatment, depression can lift^[2].

Men and suicide

Coping skills, support and treatment work for most people who have thoughts about suicide^[22]. If that is you, the services below are free and you can contact them now.

Men are more likely to die by suicide than women^[1]. In the US, the rate for men has been about 3 to 4 times the rate for women from 2014 to 2024, and of the 48,824 people who died by suicide in 2024, 38,977 were men. The rate for men fell slightly between 2023 and 2024^[18]. In England and Wales, the rate for men in 2025 registrations was 17.5 per 100,000, compared with 5.5 for women, about three times higher^[19]. In 2023, men accounted for around three-quarters of suicide deaths registered there^[20].

The WHO describes well-established links, in high-income countries, with depression, alcohol use disorders and a previous attempt. It also notes that stigma stops many people who are thinking about suicide from asking for help^[21].

Warning signs that someone may be at risk include^[22]:

• Talking about wanting to die
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose
• Talking about being a burden to others
• Drinking or using drugs more
• Withdrawing or feeling isolated
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge

If you notice these signs, try to get him talking, listen and take it seriously^[23], and help him contact one of the services below. If you think his life is in danger, call emergency services.

When to get help

See a doctor or a mental health professional if you have had symptoms of depression for most of the day, every day, for more than 2 weeks^[3], if low mood is affecting your daily life^[30], or if it is getting in the way of work, family or social life^[1]. NIMH’s advice is simple: if signs of depression persist or do not go away, talk to a health care provider^[2].

Get help now if you are thinking about suicide, or you are worried that someone else is in danger. “If you’re feeling like you want to end your life, it’s important to tell someone”^[23]. In the US, you can also chat with the 988 Lifeline at 988lifeline.org; veterans can call 988 and press 1, or text 838255^[1]. In the UK, CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) is on 0800 58 58 58, 5pm to midnight every day, and you can text SHOUT to 85258^[23].